Proper Etiquette for Writing and Addressing Your Wedding Thank You Notes

So you’re ready to write your wedding thank you notes, but what is the proper etiquette for what to say? As a popular New Jersey wedding venue, we’ve tapped the expertise of wedding professionals to offer some wedding etiquette tips for writing thank you notes.

The guidelines here are fairly straightforward:

• Be sure to express your genuine appreciation, but avoid being so over-the-top that your gratitude seems false.
• Thank your guests for attending, and if there was any notable distance or effort involved in getting there, do acknowledge it. (If they didn’t attend but sent a gift or other well wishes, acknowledge that instead.)
• Reference the specific gift(s) given and personalize your thoughts about it (Perhaps a specific use you’ll have for it or how you already enjoy it, how you’ll think of them when you use it, something specific you enjoy about it, etc.) The recipients will be glad to know that you safely received their gift (especially if they came via mail) and that you are aware they are the ones who gave it to you – and ideally that the thought they put into the purchase (even if it was from your registry) was appreciated.
• If you received money, speak to the generosity of the gift and what you might use it for, but avoid referencing the specific amount.
• If you didn’t receive a gift, still send a note with your appreciation for their coming to celebrate your special day.

As for the proper etiquette to address and send wedding thank you notes, there are a few simple points:

• Reference each individual who attended or was whose names were signed to the card on their gift.
• Address the envelopes formally (including Mr. and Mrs., Dr., etc., even if they are close friends or family).
• On the note itself, you can be less formal and address the individuals (if you have a close relationship with them) by their first names.
• Be sure to stamp each envelope individually (Avoid prepaid postage or using postage meters).
• Avoid any abbreviations and sign your names fully. A nice extra touch is for both husband and wife to add their own signatures. It shows that both of you were invested in the process of offering your thanks.

Remember, if you’ve thanked the individuals in person at your wedding (or even after), included a thank you letter with a wedding favor, or thanked them by phone, proper wedding thank you note etiquette still calls for a hand-written note to be sent. Pre-printed cards, emails, and posts to your wedding website or blog are nice, but don’t rise to the level of traditionally expected responses.

From the timeliness of your response, to the neatness and attention detail, as well as the personalization of each note, it all adds up to showing your gratitude for everyone that shared in your wedding day. Your thank you notes will be one of the last, and lasting, memories of the occasion you created. Why not make the notes as special as the couple who are sending them?