The Bride’s Mom is No Longer the Boss
By Laura Madden, Senior Sales Manager, Pleasantdale Chateau
Move over, Mom! The bride and groom are taking center stage in making wedding plans.
Mothers have traditionally taken a large hand in planning their daughter’s weddings. And Moms’ plans and those of their daughters haven’t always been in sync. But today, many mothers seem more comfortable deferring to the bride- and groom-to-be when it comes to making planning decisions, from what kind of wedding ceremony to have, to where to hold the reception.
Several factors are behind the change. Couples are getting married a little later, so they’re often more established and independent to begin with. Mothers themselves are more likely to be remarried or single, and be less concerned with reliving their own wedding through their daughter. And society as a whole has loosened up a little, so Moms are often less rigid about protocol or concerned with what other parts of the family may think if their daughter or future son-in-law wants to do something untraditional.
This is saving a lot of wear and tear on many mother-daughter relationships. Wedding planning can be a stressful time under any circumstances. Experts tell us that weddings represent a big change in the relationship between mother and daughter. After years of watching out for her little girl, mothers, consciously or subconsciously, can fear losing that relationship. And daughters can feel that their Moms are being too stifling, and are often eager to show their independence. Additionally, mothers and daughters often view what the wedding is about differently. For mothers, the wedding is a statement about the family, while to the daughter it’s a statement about the bride and groom.
Whatever the extent of their involvement in wedding planning, both Moms and daughters should remember that this can be an emotional time. Work together, and those emotions can be ones of joy. We should know. Our restaurants have been helping couples and families have joyous weddings since 1953.