Gender-Neutral Wedding Parties
In today’s world, rejecting gender binaries is becoming more and more normal. People are free to look however they like, act however they wish and date whomever they want. Choosing your wedding party shouldn’t constrain you to the guidelines of heteronormativity. That’s right – we’re talking about gender-neutral wedding parties.
It’s typically tradition that the bride has bridesmaids and the groom has groomsmen. But in 2019, that doesn’t always need to be the case. Just because one of your friends or family members is a different gender than you doesn’t mean they can’t be in your wedding party. It’s your wedding. You have the power to make it exactly what you want. Because weddings typically embrace tradition, it can be difficult to figure out how to have a gender-neutral wedding party. To help, here are some tips and advice our wedding planners have gathered for people who want to have gender-neutral wedding parties.
Testing Terminology
One of the trickiest parts of having a gender-neutral wedding party is labeling gender binary non-conforming. As a jumping-off point, here are some terms we’ve heard in non-binary or untraditional circumstances: “bridesmate,” “bridesmen,” “man of honor,” “best woman” and “groomsmaid.” Although they don’t slide off the tongue, they still get the point across and are far more accepting terms. You can also change the names of the traditional “bachelor” and “bachelorette” parties. Try “wedding crews” or “‘I Do’ crews” if you want to refer to your party without invoking the gender binary. Choose a term that everyone will feel comfortable with and don’t overthink it too much.
Aisle Inconvenience
You also might be wondering how members of the bride and groom’s party will walk down the aisle. If the bride and groom’s parties have an equal number of men and women, you can still have an equal number of opposite-sex couples. If that’s not the case, you can have each person walk alone or have a few same-sex pairs. Remember: you’re the center of attention, not your wedding party. Having a few same-sex pairs isn’t a big deal.
Another creative idea is to have your party walk down in groups of three or four. This will ensure that nobody is walking down the aisle alone while eliminating grandma’s discomfort about same-sex pairs. How they walk down the aisle is not going to matter since you’re the star of the show, but it is still worth a little bit of thought.
What Will They Wear?
Although this seems like a complicated situation, the answer is quite simple. When styling each side of the aisle, we recommend sticking to a single color for the groom’s side and a single color for the bride’s side. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing navy suits, have your groomsmaid wear a navy suit or dress. If your bridesmaids are wearing beige dresses, have your bridesman wear either a beige colored suit or navy suit with a beige tie and pocket square. This simple solution allows people on both sides to feel included and allows the wedding to maintain a cohesive aesthetic.
When working out a dress code for gender-neutral wedding parties, picking a color scheme and letting your gender non-conforming guests dress themselves can eliminate stress. This approach allows guests to express themselves without ruining the aesthetic of your wedding. Everyone will still match but they’ll have slightly different ties and boutonnieres, which can allow for more personalization. It’s not uncommon for a woman to wear a tuxedo to match the man. This is a fun way to let your friends express themselves while still matching the rest of the party.
Pre-Wedding Parties
Gender-neutral weddings mean gender-neutral bachelor and bachelorette parties. This can be tricky, but there are ways to make everyone happy. You can invite your side of the aisle to all pre-wedding festivities and let them choose between the bachelor and bachelorette party. Stag festivities usually involve raunchy antics, so it is safe to give your opposite-sex wedding party members a choice.
Alternatively, you could combine bachelor and bachelorette festivities into a single celebration. Assuming all participants are comfortable with the arrangement, this option can save money and simplify the wedding proceedings.
Bring Everyone Together With A Gender-Neutral Wedding Party
Some aspects of a gender-neutral wedding party are unconventional and awkward, and that’s okay. With a little bit of creative problem solving, and a lot of help from The Manor’s wedding planners, everything can work out beautifully. Everyone wants what’s best for you and your partner. The Manor will make your wedding perfect, from the venue to the wedding party to the reception. Our experts assist with all wedding-planning needs so you can enjoy your big day. For more information or help on planning your gender-neutral wedding party, contact the wedding planners at The Manor Restaurant at 973 325 2060.
